I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
