So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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