Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
