it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
