I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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