She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
