ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
