I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
