yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
