omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
