so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My dick has a subreddit
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize