i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
