Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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