Screwed.edu
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
