Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
