hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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