Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
