Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
