and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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