after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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