Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Never joke about your clitoris.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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