She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
