You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
