so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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