I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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