spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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