remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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