Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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