Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
