Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
