can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
