he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize