no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
