It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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