We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
