Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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