you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
