my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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