The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
