Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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