Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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