Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
