literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize