He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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