dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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