Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
