My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize