Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
