Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
