i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
