We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize