Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
