she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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