so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize