hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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