My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
