idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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