My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize