sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
