I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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