Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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