oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
