why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
