Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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