so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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