Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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